So Sarah sent me this “House Rules” she made for her family, and for her efforts, I want to tweak it and teach you all why I’ve made the changes I have – so here goes:
The Chart – Is clear and simple – ★
- No Shouting – Is realistic to ask for in indoor behavior however children are learning to gage their volume all the time and when kids get excited or angry that emotion can lead to raised volume so it should not be punished for but simply told as a reminder.
- No Jumping – Is about respect for property and our belongings as well as sometimes safety, so if you demand no jumping regarding furniture that it is, however if it’s about not jumping at all then that is not realistic and rather controlling.
- No Running – Again it applies to a household and the layout that creates safety, however if in excitement your child runs down the stairs they should not be punished for this.
- Do Not Climb or Stand On The Sofa – This is a Direct clear rule, this is reasonable. ★
- No Whining – This is a tone that children use to get what they want or when complaining mostly, it can be dispelled when we teach our children to use their voice properly and listen to what they are saying validating them. This action should not be punished.
- No Lying – This is a tricky one for most parents to navigate, but to get the most from our children is to teach them the importance of honesty as we are helping them to build character, The grey area is here, we do not punish children for telling lies, we teach them that they wont get into trouble for lying however if they lied about breaking a window with a ball and now we know they were honest about it, the consequence might be to make them pay for the window by them not having pocket money that week or missing out on a paid trip to the cinema using that money instead. So that they learn accountability.
- Be Kind to Each Other – This is a nice way of saying, no hurting one another as that is mean behavior – ★
- Tidy Up Your Mess – This is about responsibility so every Child should be taking care of their belongings and keeping their room clean even if not so tidy, be mindful of age and what your child can actually do – ★
- Do Your Daily Job – Again this is about everybody doing something and making more hands help around the home, when age appropriate this is great -★
Here are the changes I would make – can you guess?:
Out of 9 I would now only have ★ 4 ★ on my House Rules list.
Remember House Rules are to encourage better behavior we want to see, that fosters respect an mindfulness towards others and property. It is about having and teaching self respect.
It is very easy to mistake the above unrealistic rules written however we have to be careful not to use Time outs-punishment as the wrong application trying to control a child as this is not okay. Knowing when to teach and when to give consequences for actions that have an impact on something or someone is the difference.
Last but not Least Rules Do Not earn rewards-money.
If you are quiet in a library as expected you are not given money or a reward.
Rules are a given, when broken there are consequences.
However if you choose to give pocket money you can do so as a privilege but not connected to your House Rules.
Copywritten by Jo-Frost