FROM: momandarmywife
CATEGORY: Behaviour
SUBJECT: Naughty chair/spot correct way?

Can someone explain exactly how to use/do the naughty chair?

We have begun using this process on our 3-year old son for about 1 1/2 months and it does not seem to be working. We put him in the naughty chair (which is located in our family room), we tell him what he did wrong and have him sit there for 3 minutes. Most of the time he cries and begs to get up or he slides out of the chair.

Are we supposed to leave the room? If he gets up, do we add more time to the clock, if so, how much more time? After the naughty chair session is over, he gets up and does the same thing again and back in the naughty chair he goes and the same process happens.

I am at such a loss. Please tell me what we are doing wrong. I actually just saw an episode of Supernanny that showed replacing the chair with an X, we have not tried this yet, but not sure that will work.

Dear Momandarmywife,

The naughty step technique is all about the steps you take and understanding those how those steps will work toward a productive goal. It is important to give your child the warning in an authoritative voice and explain what you want to stop.

When the child continues this behavior you take them to a designated chair, bench or step and explain why they are in a time out. You then walk away and set a timer for one minute per year of age. If they move away from the discipline area, you place them back in the same space without communication.

If you have chosen to use a naughty chair and they sit next to it and you decide that is sufficient, then as long as they aren’t moving from that space they are getting discipline. Once their 3-minute time out is over you explain to them for a second time and get an apology. This allows the child to recognize the importance of redeeming their behavior. Then give hugs and kisses so that they recognize that your discipline action has no bearing on your love for them and you can move on with your day.

So in short:

  1. Warning
  2. Take time out and explain why they are in time out
  3. Set a timer for 3 minutes and walk away
  4. Explain for a second time
  5. Apologies
  6. Hugs and Kisses

Best wishes,
P.S. You hold the authority and the learning curve and not the plastic chair

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