I see a lot of issues with children’s behavior (or lack thereof) in my work with families, but the truth of the matter is, it’s not just the child: How your child behaves is your responsibility.

This might sound obvious but you’d be surprised how many parents I meet who blame everybody but themselves for how their child is turning out. Make sure you set a good example I’ve learnt that you need to take responsibility from day one. You’ve been blessed with the incredible miracle of a life, this blank canvas, that’s up to you to paint in a positive way. All her values for these upcoming years are set by you – you’re the major voice in your child’s life. So as well as telling her how to behave from infancy, you also need to be a positive role model. Setting a good example is essential, right from the start. You should have learned this by now, if not…Start today

Don’t wait until she is four years old and a challenging child. Believe me, you should start instilling good values, behaviour and respect from the earliest time your baby can understand. This will make your job as a parent so much more enjoyable, and your child so much nicer to have around.

Don’t start making excuses STOP the “I don’t have time.”

“It’s other people’s fault” or “I’ve got too many kids.”

I’ve heard all these excuses before and I’m afraid that none of them really wash with me – c’mon, let’s be real. It can be done and you can do it. Remember, be accountable.

This family I saw…whilst I was working in America recently, I saw a mum with her family in a hotel. She had four young children eating lunch in the restaurant and they were all sitting around the table together, with a napkin on their laps, having a wonderful conversation with each other and behaving beautifully. It was refreshing to see – I gave her such a big smile because I knew she’d got it spot on.

In these days where consumerism is king and we all find ourselves increasingly time poor, it’s too easy to think you’re showing your child how much you love her by giving her things she wants, all the time. Well, material items can’t replace giving your child the time and attention they need.

Don’t use excuses.

You can’t replace memories with possessions, so you need to understand the importance of spending time together. Don’t use the excuse that you’re at work all the time. Even if you only get two hours a day with your child, try to make sure those two hours are quality time for you and her. Believe me, your child will value this much more than anything you could buy her.

It takes time to become a mum and dad. You can’t clock in and out and it doesn’t come instantly for some. Your relationship with your child takes time to grow, so don’t try and rush things. Sometimes there are no instant fixes as a parent. Bear in mind it will take time to find solutions to your parenting dilemmas and sometimes you need to make decisions and hope they are the right ones – better to make them, than not at all. But have the confidence to trust yourself, and don’t be too hard on yourself. And when you’re wrong, just tell yourself you’re learning from your mistakes and do it differently next time. This creates healthy, positive behaviors for you and sets a healthy, positive example for your child as well. And, that’s the best thing you can offer your family.

Copywritten by Jo Frost

Share this:

More in this category: Teaching Values » Exaggerating » Tantrums » Selective Hearing » Aggression » Are We There Yet? » Terrorism – How to Talk to Our Children About It » Encourage Reading » Keeping in Touch When Away » Discipline » Winding Down Tips Before Bed Time » Stepmom Struggles (Fake Cry) » Stalling Over Mealtimes » Child Anxiety » Sleep Transition » Work and Home Balance » Peek-a-Boo » Let’s Talk About Sex » Confidence for Pre-School » BACK TO SCHOOL » Encouraging Children to Come Out of Their Shells » Spring has Sprung — Let’s Get Active! » Meet the New SAHM: the Work-From-Home Parent » Kids Talk About Love » Turning Winter Blues into Sunshine for the Children » Spending Holiday Time with Family » Change the World, Give Back » Zero Tolerance Bullying » The 10 Dos and Don’ts of Back-to-School » For Playdates & Parties, Don’t be a Helicopter Parent » Disciplining Other People’s Children » Making the Most of Your Summer with the Kids… » Children and Accountability » Settling In Nicely » One With Nature » Valentine’s Day » Charging Into 2015 » 10 Holiday Questions (and Answers!) » Practicing Gratitude » Balance On the Work and Home Seesaw » And So To Bed… » Ready for Nursery » A Time of First Milestones » Eating Habits » HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! » When is YOUR Child Considered Potty Trained? » Child Abuse Prevention Month » Excerpt from Jo Frost’s Toddler Rules » With Love » The Art of Being » Holidays on a Budget » Dealing with Life Transitions » Halloween Crafts » Who Needs Sleep? Everyone! » How Much Attention Should We Give Our Kids? » Young Girls and Self-Esteem » Anxiety, Depression and Teens » A Personal Note About Food Allergies » Gay Parenting » Eating Out with Kids » Flu Season » Plan of Action » Baby, It’s [Getting] Cold Outside » Encouraging Your Child’s Social Skills » Medical Alert » Planes, Trains, And Automobiles: Travel Tips for Children of All Ages » Father’s Day Activities » A Mother’s Day for YOU » Limiting Your Child’s Screen/Tech Time » Letting Go: Mother, Not Smother » Getting Sexy Back After Baby » Introducing A Babysitter » Jo’s Tips For Being Penny-Wise This Holiday Season » Adoption Month » The Importance of Sleep » Parenting Solo » Stay Cool » Household Chores » Jo Frost’s Confident Toddler Care Book Excerpt » How Do I Play? » Jo’s April Editorial » Jo’s Editorial » When Technology Is Ok » Do You Know What Your Children Are Reading? » Calling All New (or soon-to-be) Moms & Dads! » Jo’s Three Nursery Golden Rules » “We Never Have Sex Anymore!” » How to deal with your Toddler » My son has a problem in the toilet » My 15 month old son will not sleep » My 4 year child is telling me “I hate you” » Work with your baby’s body clock » Starting fresh for the New Year » Twelve Thoughts for Christmas » Naughty chair/spot correct way? » A New Mom To Be » Baby waking too often » How much sleep does she need » Pick me up! » DESPERATE for help!!! » Three year old daughter won’t let others help » How to get my five year old son to stay dry all night long » How to explain death » No more nappies?!!! » Need to Pack On The Pounds.. » Getting my 2 1/2 year old in his car seat » guilt trip or more serious? » My 12 month old doesn’t like to nap in daytime » Big Issues with my 15 year old » Time Out Follow-up » Tummy time! » How do I best help my 18 month old to STTN? » My son won’t use cutlery » 6 year old Reader » Getting my 2 1/2 year old in his car seat » Child won’t drink from sippy cup or cup… » 3 1/2 month old’s sleeping difficulties » Ouch!! » Transition to a new room » Fear of bed time » 10 months – too young to sleep through? » Is it too early for reins? » 3 year old and new puppy » Toddler forcing himself to vomit » Potty Training » I’m a nanny and need help!!! » Help getting my 18 month old to talk » How do I know when to start weaning?? » 3 1/2 yr old daughter wont stop SCREAMING!!!! » Naughty Step Becomes a Game » TEEN IN DESPRATE NEED OF JO’S HELP!!!! » Please Help! » Daily Routine » STUDY HABITS » Paci still a problem » 4 1/2 month old: Should he be eating? » Three-year-old son sleeps only in our bed »

Hey, before you leave...

Don't miss out on the opportunity to get the upcoming scoop!

Please take 10 secs to fill in, you’ll be glad you did!
Read previous post:
Michael – Season 1

In the final of the big questions for this series, Jo’s focus is on a serious but hidden threat to...