In the parenting world ‘good job’ and ‘well done’ have become over used, generic terms too often spoken between parent and child to convey approval. But, how much do these words tell a child what it is that they have achieved successfully?
When you have a large family trying to keep up with just what they are doing everyday seems like a big enough task already. As you blow forward with your schedule making sure you lose no heads in the process, prioritizing which child needs your attention right now and who hasn’t had enough. We are our children’s gauge of progress, they look up to us to make sure they are on the right track. With our kind, constructive compliments we are able to show up and bring focus, acknowledging where their strengths have been so that they may acknowledge this themselves. This indeed does build genuine self-worth as they learn themselves that their actions have a profound impact on themselves and those around them. For those parents who never received such information from their parents it can be hard for them to understand the difference it makes. For some it can feel very awkward to show affection, or to point out niceties. This technique provides a fun way in getting us use to doing so. Let’s face it, it’s always nice to receive gratitude and to be acknowledged. So when your children feel like you have been too busy to even notice what they have been up to surprise them with a heart-pop. You will be surprised how quickly they will receive.
How to Make Hearts
- You will need coloured paper to cut out your large hearts. I suggest laminating them as you will be able to write on them every day. However, some children like to collect them, so you might need to cut out lots. Keep them large so that you have enough room to write on them
- Glue or tape to the back lollipop or popsicle sticks to the heart so it holds up nicely.
- Now down to the writing. Keep it short, sweet and specific. You can elaborate on it when you are handing them out.
- Pick a time when your kids can get their lollipops at the same time. Perhaps just before bedtime or ant dinner time.
- Remember that this is affirmation on all the good that you see, this motivates the behaviour to be continued.
If you are away working, take a laminated heart with you, take a photo of it and send it to your child via phone or iPad. It’s a great way for you to remain consistent. You can get the updates from whomever is looking after your child from your cell phone.
Note: Why not have fun with this technique with other members of your family. Perhaps put miniature ones in your teenager’s lunch box, or place under your partners pillow for them to receive in the morning.
Copywritten by Jo Frost