What an exciting month for the newsletter! To start, it's the second anniversary of the JoFrost.com website! I am so thrilled with the success of the forums on the site and how they are being used as a vessel for the community of parents and caretakers to come together, offer advice, interact and commiserate. I encourage you all to keep it going and to email us with any websites you recommend in the way of advice for special needs, volunteering with not-for-profits, fun activity sites for kids and the like.

In the 3 BURNING QUESTIONS this month I focused on questions of toddler behavior and single parents dealing with changes in routine and needing to bond when visiting their other parent. There's some very useful information that all parents (not just single parents) can take away from the question of changes in routine especially in the summer months and during vacation time. My TIP OF THE MONTH is an important reminder for the best way to apply (and reapply) sunscreen on your kids and yourself. The BULLETIN BOARD highlights how people celebrate their Independence Day around the world and how you can help give your kids a little independence right in your own home. We have giveaways galore in this month's LIBRARY AND MUSIC CORNER which highlights two of our favorite people: Boy wizard Harry Potter and my favorite comedian/actress/writer Whoopi Goldberg, who has a new kids book about manners (which we are giving away along with some Whoopi-related attire). I'm also giving away a copy of the soundtrack to the hit Broadway show, Mary Poppins! Then, I sit down for a Q&A with Whoopi for this month's CELEBRITY SPOT Q&A! And Whoopi makes another appearance –along with my favorite nanny, Mary Poppins (!) in this month's JO'S MEMOIRS!

Lots of Love,

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FROM: RED
CATEGORY: Sleep
SUBJECT: Hitting

Yes I have a 2 1/2 year old who hits. He does this when he does not get his way, when he wants attention, when you discipline him and even just to do it( he will say "I am going to hit Sophie at school and when he see's her he does) I don't know how to stop this behavior I have tried time out. spanking and taking toys . He is a loving caring child he just has this behavior that is driving his dad and I crazy. He doesn't see us hitting or anything in our household or any other household he goes too.

It seems to me that your son has learned very quickly how to receive your full attention regardless as to weather it is a positive or negative experience. He chooses to openly tell you the naughty behavior he is going to do because he is guaranteed a severe reaction. Yes, it is true his behavior needs to be dealt with giving him discipline, but spanking seems to contradict the message here. You state very reassuringly that your son is a loving caring child, and I am pleased to see that you truly see that in your son. So now I want you to act upon those facts. As parents, I want you to teach him clear acceptable expectations, give him rules, that he can follow. 1. Be kind with your words 2. Share and play nicely 3. No hurting 4. Mind your P's and Q's. Now follow through on these and give praise and reward for prompted and unprompted behavior. In doing this you will very quickly see a reverse pattern of behavior, and this will take you all to a different place as a family. Spend time giving him, and doing things that led to accomplishment. THIS WILL BUILD HIS SELF ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE giving him a sense of pride. Where he will learn ultimately the impact of his positive behavior is far more rewarding.
Best wishes Jo

FROM: leanneharding
CATEGORY: Sleep
SUBJECT: splittin from my partner, my sons routine all to pot

I split with my sons father in jan 07. My son was in a lovely routine going straight down after ngt bottol, since moving back to my parents house my son will not sleep in his cot he screams, kicks and is usually sick, i have relented and let him sleep with me mainly because of the guilt i felt for splitting up the family, i usually now lay for an hour at ngt tryin to get him to sleep, i dont know how to get him back into the routing i had him in, I keep thinking should i wait until im settled in our own house otherwise another move is gonna upset him again, im really confused and dont know what to do for the best, my son is 20 months old. please anyone help

Right now there are many discussions to be made, and you have gone through the second most stress related situation:Divorce. The impact of this divorce is inevitably taking it's tole on everybody, and I understand a disruption in your sons environment and how everybody is feeling emotionally could led you to the point where he is sleeping in your bed right now. However and hour to get him to sleep is not working. The question is how long is it going to take until you are in your own home? If it is going to take two weeks then I would bite the bullet, in other words wait until then, but if it is going to take longer than a month I suggest you create a bedtime routine. Do one of two techniques, the sleep separation technique, or the sleep stay in bed technique. Which basically is the first one followed through with the stay in be technique. Remember these are healing times for everyone, and the phase where emotions are overwhelming thoughts are confusing and vision is cloudy. But it won't be like that forever. Ride these times embracing the loving support around you.

Best of luck, Jo

FROM: samkl
CATEGORY: For Parents
SUBJECT: Single mom wants to help dad bond with toddler

I am a single mom who wants to help my daughter (14 month old) bond with her dad when he comes to visit.
She only gets to see her father a few times a year since he lives out of state. When he does visit he expects there to be an instant bond. I have tried giving him advise many times (let her warm up to you 1st etc...), but he rarely listens.
She cries almost every time he takes her from me. I think it is because he doesn't give her a chance to warm up first and his timing is usually off. She is very clingy when he is in town and rarely will play if he is in the room. When leads him to think that I hold her all the time and baby her too much. Which is not the case. I do hold her more when he is around, but only to try to make his time here more enjoyable (so that she isn't crying "all" the time).
It can be very stressful when he visits. She cries a lot when he is here and I have to bite my lip and leave the room since he won't give in to her crying for mommy, which makes her not want him to hold her even more. It's tough, but I tell my self it is only for a few days.
Any suggestions on how I can help him bond without sounding overly protective of her? He is very stubburn and short tempered, which is why I need help. His temper is not physical towars us, but he does tend to throw things when he is mad. He would never stike us, but if not careful he may not talk to us. This has happend a couple of times over very little things.
He has a good heart and I want him in our daughters life. I'm just worried that she may grow up not liking him if he pushes himself on her & I don't want that.
Thanks in advance!

It seems to me that you and your fathers daughter are expecting to much to soon. Lets just repeat this, she only gets to see her father a few times a year?? Of course she's going to behave this way! Your letter tells me that you are not 100% related around your ex's company, and your daughter is sensing your edginess. So when you pass her over: 1. She feels panicked 2. He is still a stranger 3. When she cries and he holds her, she senses his anxiety in wanting her to stop crying. Then he raises his voice, because he sees you deciding weather you should take her back. Not a good situation for all concerned, especially baby. So this is how we resolve the situation. 1. Close wounds with your ex. 2. Continue to communicate via telephone, let her hear his voice. 3. Get Daddy to send photo's with letters, so you can point to the photos and say "That's Daddy." 4. Make him a part of her life even when he's not there. 5. Frame a photo for her bedroom. 6. Take her somewhere fun together, so she can relate the experience with her father. 7. When he comes over hand her over confidently and allow them space just together. Use it as a opportunity to have some me time. But don't make yourself visible, even if you are in the house. Take a long bath, read a book in the bedroom, catch up on bills, because as long as you are around she will always want you instead because you are the one she spends the most time with. P.S- At 14 months old, all children go through a stage of clinginess, this behavior is also a part of her development.

Best wishes Jo

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When applying sunscreen, make sure you get all over, bottoms of feet, on the scalp (very important that you get babies there) even kids with hair should have sunscreen on the places where their hair parts. Also apply to the tips of the ears, hands, eyelids, etc. Make sure you slather a shot glass-sized amount over your child's body and enough to cover their face. Always reapply sunscreen after they swim, as even waterproof sunscreen doesn't always last long enough or stay on strong enough to complete with the sun's rays. And, even if your child is wearing a tee shirt over their suit, they should be properly sun screened beneath it as the shirt is only an equivalent of an SPF of 4 and won't protect them from all of the UVA and UVB rays.

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JULY BOOKS:

Whoopi's Big Book of Manners by Whoopi Goldberg (ages 4-8)

What's worse than SHOUTING into a cell phone? Or interrupting a really private moment by forgetting to knock on a door? Or putting a finger in your --
Well, we don't even want to say it. We're too polite.
Whoopi Goldberg has a lot of fun with manners in this riotous picture book —- but anyone who wants to know the do's and don'ts of common courtesy should take all this fun seriously. Through Whoopi's hilarious words and Olo's untrammeled pictures, young readers will learn just how to behave in company -— and have a blast along the way.

GIVEAWAY: WIN a Copy of this book and either a Wake Up With Whoopi Tee Shirt or Tote Bag!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling (ages 9-12)

It's the seventh and final chapter of boy wizard Harry Potter's adventures at Hogwarts and we can't wait to find out what lies ahead for Harry and all our favorite characters!
*This is a great book (or book-on-tape) for long car or plane trips, so if you have one coming up, make sure your kids save the book until then. That way you and your kids can have a pleasant, quiet and magical journey to your destination.

Skeleton Key (Alex Rider Adventures) by Anthony Horowitz (ages 11-14)

Alex Rider has been through a lot for his fourteen years. He's been shot at by international terrorists, chased down a mountainside, and stood face-to-face with evil. Twice, young Alex has saved the world. And twice, he has almost been killed doing it. But now Alex faces something even more dangerous. The desperation of a man who has lost everything he cared for: his country and his only son. A man who just happens to have a nuclear weapon and a serious grudge against the free world. To see his beloved Russia once again be a dominant power, he will stop at nothing. Unless Alex can stop him first.
The phenomenon that is the Alex Rider series returns with pulse-quickening action as, for the first time, Britain's MI6 and America's CIA unite forces. Be glad Alex is on our side!

JULY MUSIC:

Mary Poppins [Original Broadway or London cast recording]

Mary Poppins may be one of the most beloved film musicals of all time, but it took 30 long years for it to transfer to the stage. This recording of the original London cast shows the wait was worthwhile though. The new version mixes in elements from both the original books by P.L. Travers (which she started publishing in 1934) and the Disney movie starring Julie Andrews, from 1964. ( Mary seems to take 30 years to do anything.) Most of the original songs by brothers Richard and Robert Sherman ( Chitty Chitty Bang Bang) are present--Mary Poppins is so associated with "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," "A Spoonful of Sugar," and "Chim Chim Cher-ee," her Oscar-winning duet with Bert, that starting from scratch would have been unthinkable. But then George Stiles and Anthony Drewe came in and dusted off some of these songs, and wrote entirely new numbers as well. Miraculous, these are wonderful and blend in seamlessly with the 1960s tunes, thanks in no small to William David Brohn's lovely orchestrations. And weather you get the Broadway or London version, you'll have the opportunity to listen to Gavin Lee's (Burt) exciting rendition of Step In Time. It's practically perfect in every way.

GIVEAWAY: WIN a Copy of the Original Cast Recording!

This Pretty Planet [Tom Chapin]

Moderator Ashley grew up with singer/songwriter Tom Chapin's daughters -- all of whom you can hear on the track The Signs of Dawn -- and as a result, was exposed to a lot of his music (Ed. Note :she still remembers the words to almost every one of his songs! ) In This Pretty Planet, all of Tom's beautiful, fun and earth-centric songs are turned into one CD that will having kids singing and thinking "green."

Wood Over Water [Dean Evenson]

Not all your baby's music has to be of the kiddie sort. We found this meditation CD that combines everything from Native American Flutes to wave sounds and even rattles(!) to create a soothing experience. It's perfect to lull babies and toddlers off to sleep and you can even borrow it for a little meditative time of your own!

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Independence Day. For many countries these two words carry a deep meaning and represent a time of celebration, but for some countries, like Australia , there is no formal celebration while other countries continue to struggle in their flight for independence. Since most all of you know about America's July 4th celebration of Independence, we wanted to fill you in on some other countries that also celebrate their freedom – I bet it was more than you thought! One of the most interesting is Austria, who declared independence from three different countries: the United State, the United Kingdom and France in 1955. The Dominican Republic declared their independence from Haiti in 1844 after 22 years of occupation. While Haiti had already declared her own independence from France in 1804. Iceland was a part of Denmark until 1944 and Norway shared itself with Sweden until 1905. And Canada gained autonomy from the UK in 1867. Around 132 countries have formally declared their independence in the past two centuries alone!

While countries declare their freedoms from mother/father lands, children and teens have their own struggles for freedoms, independence and the need to feel like individuals separate and apart from their parents and siblings in some ways, this need is very similar to how countries form and function: Kids want to feel unique, they have their own ideas about who they are and who they want to become. As parents, you need to listen to their proposals and arguments and keep an open mind. Teenagers especially need time and space to explore their freedoms of expressing opinions, beliefs interests and even their wardrobes. Allow your child their moment to express themselves and experiment with different personas (provided they are not harming themselves or others of course). The same is to be said for imagination and play in young children. Make sure your little ones have time to play, read and dream up different worlds and scenarios which they may act out through their toys and with friends: Cars can fly, animals can talk and your children are dreaming up all of life's endless possibilities through their own form of self discovery.

This month, take the time to celebrate independence in all of its incarnations.

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Jo took New York by storm last month – and just in time for her birthday! Before the celebratory festivities began, Jo had an interview with Whoopi Goldberg for her morning radio show called Wake Up With Whoopi. Jo had a blast (and some laughs) talking with Whoopi about everything from childcare to kids and manners. And, check out the Library Corner of the newsletter for a chance to win a copy of Whoopi's Big Book of Manners and either a Whoopi tee shirt or tote bag!

After a little work, came a little play, a musically actually, when Jo took in Mary Poppins on Broadway. "The show was absolutely incredible and energetic," says Jo. "The main set looked like a doll's house and all he details were amazing! There was even a dog puppet made of yak hair that costs $50,000 to make -- and this show had three of them!" Jo had the opportunity to meet and trade "nanny secrets" with Mary Poppins after the show. The picture shows Jo with Mary and Bert. And to top it off, Jo stepped onto the set for a quick picture to top off one supercalifragilisticexpialidocious birthday!

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We have a very special celebrity for this Q&A. She is one of a very select few performers to have received an Academy Award, a Tony award, a Grammy award and a Golden Globe award (two actually). She is also a world-renown comedian, activist and author. And perhaps most importantly, she is a mother to an adult daughter, Alexandrea and three grandchildren. She is known for movies such as The Color Purple, Corrina, Corrina, Clara's Heart, Ghost, Sister Act and The Lion King (among many, many others). We are thrilled and honored to be able to sit down and ask her a few questions about parenting, grand parenting and everything in between.

Q: As a single mom, how did you balance work and motherhood? Did you have any supports in the way of family help, babysitters, etc?
WHOOPI: I had support. I had my mom, a nanny (but not a Super Nanny!), and friends. Everybody pitched in because everybody wanted to make it an easy transition. I was lucky.

Q: When your daughter was little, did you bring her to work with you to give her a sense of what you did?
WHOOPI: I did bring my daughter to work. Since I started in the theater she was always in the theater with me. When I started to make movies I would take her to the set but she got bored and decided she wanted to be in the movies too. So, if you want to see her, you can see her as a little girl in "The Color Purple" – the scene at the dining room table. She's the little girl who sits with her hand over her mouth. You can see her older in "Sister Act II" – she's one of the teenagers in the class.

Q: Did you have any feelings of guilt when you were raising Alexandrea and working all the time? If so, how did you deal with that guilt?
WHOOPI: I still have them. She's helped out a lot with the feelings of guilt because she understands more now as a parent raising children.

Q: Given your work with comic relief, was volunteerism and giving back a quality you grew up with and instilled in your daughter?
WHOOPI: Absolutely and she's instilled it in her kids.

Q: Anything you would have done differently in raising your daughter?
WHOOPI: My mind says "yes", my heart says "I did it the best way I could".

Q: What inspired you to write your children's book about manners? Do you feel that etiquette and manners among children has gone downhill?
WHOOPI: The lack of manners in adults inspired me to write the book; it didn't surprise me that the kids didn't have them. I thought if I wrote this book adults would read it to their kids and adults would walk away remembering to say "please" and "thank you".

Q: What have you been able to give your daughter and grandchildren through your book writing?
WHOOPI: European trips, basketball camp . . .

Q: Are there any traditions or rituals you have taken from your childhood and passed on to Alexandrea that she is now passing on to her children?
WHOOPI: Manners – instilled in me by my mom and now Alex is instilling manners in her children in spite of me.

Q: Do you find yourself still parenting your daughter and critiquing her parenting style?
WHOOPI: I find myself still having to parent but Alex's parenting style is much better than my own.

Q: What is one good quality from your own upbringing that you bring to your family?
WHOOPI: Integrity.

Your Favourites:

Growing up, what was your favourite book?
PETER PAN

What was your favourite toy?
LIONEL TRAINS

What you most wanted to be when you grew up?
ACTOR

What was your favourite cartoon?
WHAT"S OPERA DOC?

What/Who was your first pin-up or poster?
BEATLES

who was your influential person in your life?
MY MOM

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