SUBJECT: I'm a nanny and need help!!!
I've been working for a family for 8 months now, who have 2 very active boys. The oldest will be 3 in Jan. and the youngest is 16 months. For the past 8 months, in order to get the 16 month old to sleep, I have been having to push him in a stroller till he falls asleep. I've tried putting him in his crib and let him cry it out, but I don't want to let him cry too long. I don't want to take the risk of upsetting my boss. But he's getting too big to push around and rock everyday to get him to sleep.
I've tried laying him on the couch so he can go to sleep like his big brother, but he just gets up and starts jumping on it. At first it worked, he'd go to sleep on his own. That was only for a week though. When my husband and I came back from our vacation, it was like he'd never fallen to sleep on his own. I am at my wits end and seriously need some advice on how to deal with this in a way that will not upset my employer.
Here are the four steps you should follow so you can get the kids back on track. Remember, one of the most important steps is talking to your employers about the situation so that it doesn’t happen again and that you are all on the same page in raising their children.
Number 1: Sit down and talk to your employees about it, full stop. You should have an open, honest conversation about this little boy being sixteen months old and actually should be sleeping in his own bed.
Number 2: That conversation should lead to a compromise in what technique you are going to use.
Number 3: He should be sleeping twice a day anyway, for a sixteen-month-old: once in the morning and once in the afternoon.
And number 4: You are going to have to implement a technique in his bedroom and, as he’s sixteen months, he will slightly be going through some separation anxiety. So, what I suggest you do is a technique called the sleep separation technique and you will find that in my book with the steps as well.
You and the parents have to be on the same page, because if you’re getting back from vacation and they’re not following through with everything, then it’s just going to make it worse for both of you. However, you are a professional nanny, you’ve been working with this family for eight months. You’re saying you don’t want to upset your boss, but at the end of the day, they’re rocking him as well.
As a nanny it is your duty to look out for the kids and to let them know they’re upsetting his routine. No doubt he’s overtired and he doesn’t want to eat, doesn’t want to play and soon, it will be upsetting everything else. If you want to do the control-crying technique in the crib, you could do that or the sleep separation. But do one and talk to the parents about it. It’s a very, very common situation where you will see a change in sleeping patterns and need to reinforce a technique to get little ones down. However, you need to be proactive in doing it.
The risk of upsetting your boss causes what, you might lose your job? Your job as a nanny is to look out for the kids, so you need to put the health and welfare of the child first. They will thank you for it.