FROM: Ilovemy2boys
CATEGORY: Behaviour
SUBJECT: DESPERATE for help!!!

I have two boys, ages 5 and 2. My 5 year old just started Kindergarten this year. He has had his issues with jealousy, hands on, anger issues, etc. He had been doing a lot better over the summer, but as soon as school started he turned into a monster! He is currently seeing a therapist to deal with these issues.

He is very hands on at school touching friends and throwing rocks during recess. He has a very hard time at recess because he gets himself into trouble. Then, when he gets off the bus all he does is whine and cry and it just grates my nerves. I give him a snack and a drink, then we work on writing his letters, math, art, play, etc. Then, as soon as I say we have to stop he starts screaming and yelling at me and making my life miserable after we just spent a wonderful hour or two doing fun stuff.

He is getting very hands on his with brother and will just scratch him if he gets in his face or too close to him. He will just yell at me to "STOP IT!" He will squeeze me, hit me, kick me, scratch me, etc. When I ask him to do something, he will do everything in his power to do anything but that.

I am having trouble finding the right timeout spot. My younger son always goes to his brother even though he is so mean to him. Right now, I have a "thinking pillow" in his room, but I just started this today. When he does something unacceptable like writing on the table, talking back to me, doing something I asked him not to, etc. then I tell him to go to the thinking chair. He just screams and yells at me and runs away. Do I chase him to drag him to timeout? I've been taking away favorite toys to see if that will work. Do I let him throw things at the door, bang the door, as long as he stays in the room? I have a list of House Rules on my wall, so if he does one of those things does he automatically goes to timeout without a warning or does he get a warning every time?

Also, is a 2 year old too young to sit in a timeout spot? I tried a couple months ago, but he just kept getting up and making a game of it. He is actually 27 months and in speech therapy because he doesn't have many words. He likes to climb on top of tables and is starting to hit and bite because he thinks it's acceptable because his brother does it.
I just don't know what to do because sometimes there is that little boy that I love and know and then there is this complete opposite and I don't enjoy being around him and I dread having to get him from the bus stop.
Please help! I'd like Jo's help, but we don't want our family on TV for the world to see.
Thanks for reading!

Dear ILovemy2boys,

So, you are having trouble finding the right time out spot? The appropriate time out spot would be one that allows you to be on the same floor level with him, since he is still very young and you will need to be near him to enforce the time out and follow through correctly.

Children learn to think about their actions through boundaries that are set in place. The house rules are a good idea and a warning will always be necessary first. Pleas see my naughty technique on the show or in my books.

Your two year old is too young to sit in a time out spot. I know this because one needs to see more maturity in his development. On the flip side of things however, he is obviously having problems with sibling jealousy and the more you get him involved and doing things as a family the more he will come to terms in accepting his younger siblings.

Good luck,
Jo

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